Sunday, April 3, 2011

BONUS: What I'm Learning SUNDAY: Screaming

As I mentioned earlier this week, the Lord has been screaming at me recently. If you know me, you know that the desire of my heart is to be a wife and a mother. You also will know that it has been a loooong time since I last dated anyone. The reason for the long break is because of something I heard God say to me. One day, a few years ago, I was praying about this subject and heard the Lord speak to my heart, saying "just wait". I can't really describe what it was like to hear those two words so clearly, but I definitely did. And I waited.

I waited for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that I did. Waiting probably saved me from some bad relationships and some bad choices on my part. However, I became impatient as I tend to do so easily. I wrote about this issue a few weeks ago in another entry on waiting (you can read it here).

A few weeks ago, I was pleading with the Lord over this area of my life. I seem to have become more and more impatient since I turned 30 in September. Being married has become more of an issue for me...I guess I feel like time is ticking away. That very next week, three people mentioned three different guys to me! I agreed to be set up with one of them. We met for dinner and had a great conversation. He was very nice, a perfect gentleman, and he loves the Lord. After I went home, though, and all day every day for the rest of the week, God dealt with me. I felt like I could hear the Lord just as clearly as I had heard Him before. Only this time, He was screaming at me "I TOLD YOU TO WAIT!" Again, I can't explain what it was like for me to hear this voice in my heart, but I clearly did. I felt like He was telling me that I was trying to rush Him. I tried to brush it off at first, but the screaming only got louder until it was all I could hear.

You see, I feel like there is a very specific calling from the Lord on my life. And there is a very special man that will match that calling. If you know me, you know my heart on this issue.

I know this may sound crazy to you...it sounds a little crazy to me too. But I truly believe that this is what the Lord was screaming to me for an entire week and a half. So, I have backed off on my constant yearning to find a husband (which is not my job anyway) and will wait for the Lord to bring him to me.

I hope you can understand my ramblings on this subject. Lots of things have been running through my head on this matter and I have tried my best to organize them for you. Have you ever heard God speak to you about any particular area in your life?

2 comments:

  1. Oh boy, I'd obey that screaming. Trust me. I did not. Twice. Nonetheless, He entrusted me with two wonderful children and a huge lesson in doing without certain things a marriage should have.

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  2. love your transparency Ashley, hope you have found or will find as I did that waiting is well worth it.. God knows best for us all if only we would take His advice. I had to wait too..a long time I was pushing 40 when my doorbell and wedding bell finally rang but its now 22 years later and gets better and better everyday because the Lord knew who would be best for me but marriage can be hard work even with God's best man..but i am so thankful for God's love and wisdom.. all glory to Him.

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